Make a Wish and Have it Horribly Corrupted

[Umbra Humana]

Back on the old KSP forums, there would be a game, where somebody would make a wish, and then the next poster would corrupt it, and then make another wish.

For example:

I wish for an apple.

Next user:

Granted, you get an invisible, tasteless apple that shall not quench your hunger.

I wish for a new phone


First wish: I wish for a new computer mouse

 

[SSDeveloper]

Granted, you get a mouse with a builtin computer. The computer has no ports, no keyboard, no wireless connectivity, and a little screen on the back. The only way you can type is with an on-screen-keyboard that you can't see because your hand is covering the screen while you're holding the mouse. Also, it takes 1 AA battery, that lasts about 3 hours under load*.

*I was gonna put less, but even with fairly liberal power consumption estimates for a computer that size, 1 AA battery would still get it a few hours

I wish for something sweet for dessert

 

[Umbra Humana]

Granted, you get a mouse with a builtin computer. The computer has no ports, no keyboard, no wireless connectivity, and a little screen on the back. The only way you can type is with an on-screen-keyboard that you can't see because your hand is covering the screen while you're holding the mouse. Also, it takes 1 AA battery, that lasts about 3 hours under load*.

*I was gonna put less, but even with fairly liberal power consumption estimates for a computer that size, 1 AA battery would still get it a few hours

I wish for something sweet for dessert

Granted. You get a milligram of sugar.

I wish for hello

 

[VITAS]

you get the hell of endless oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooos.

i wish for a nexus g1 cinema camera (

)

 

[Umbra Humana]

you get the hell of endless oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooos.

i wish for a nexus g1 cinema camera (

)

Granted, you get the words "nexus, g1, cinema, and camera", all on a piece of paper

I wish for CAREB

 

[Umbra Humana]

Poke.

 

[ColdJ]

Granted: You get a stick in the ribs.

I wish someone had called me here earlier.

 

[Umbra Humana]

Granted, you have now always been called "me here".

I wish for Kitten Space Agency to be a success.

 

[ColdJ]

(meanie )

Granted: Kitten Space Agency becomes so successful that every minute change, update or addon costs the player massive amounts of money.

I wish that it does not not not work on Linux.

 

[Umbra Humana]

(meanie )

Granted: Kitten Space Agency becomes so successful that every minute change, update or addon costs the player massive amounts of money.

I wish that it does not not not work on Linux.

Granted. It only works on FreeBSD

I wish for KSP to survive for 10 more years.

 

[ColdJ]

Granted: It survives 10 more years. In return you realise that the song "Ironic" by Alanis Morissette, has nothing ironic in it, and it ruins the song for you.

I wish that this was ironic.

 

[Umbra Humana]

Granted: It survives 10 more years. In return you realise that the song "Ironic" by Alanis Morissette, has nothing ironic in it, and it ruins the song for you.

I wish that this was ironic.

Granted: everything that happens to you is now ironic

I wish for a fish

P.S. The joke's on you! I never listened to the lyrics(or in fact liked) the song "Ironic" by Alanis Morissette!